manchester christmas
Friday, 23rd December 2005
Why round robins are new Christmas turkeysIN A WORLD of lazy communications, where e-mails have replaced letters, where misspelled text messages have replaced talking, enter the latest evil: the round robin Christmas card. A simple "have a good one" doesn't cut it for those who send these mass-produced messages of no interest to anyone but themselves. The recipients (and there will probably be a couple of hundred per sender) are bombarded with a list of triumphs, usually littered with exclamation marks: "Phew we've had such a busy year! Where to start? Pheobe passed her maths A-level and she's only five. "Thomas is destined for great things on the cricket, football and rugby field. We just can't keep up with them! "Jack's had a promotion, I've managed to juggle being a housewife with scaling the glass ceiling and creating an award-winning garden in my spare time... "Oh, forgot to mention: we're all learning Chinese too!" And so it goes on. This list requires more than the confines of a Christmas card, so they insert a piece of paper where the words are typed in small letters, all the better to cram in more boasts. Instead of sitting slumped on the sofa watching reality TV and soaps night after night, this mob who you used to call friends have turned into smug clones who can spout for England about their jam-packed days and nights. Of course, it's not an English tradition, it comes from America. It started slowly, but now it's big, it's brash and it's on your mantelpiece. But don't worry. Once you've opened the card, skim-read the spiel and put your fingers down your throat, you can push it to the back of your mind and to the back of the cards that say: "Have a good one". And look on the bright side. At least they won't ring you!
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