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FAME?: Form an orderly queue
FAME?: Form an orderly queue

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Fifteen minutes of Big Brother fame

Rebecca Atkins
21/ 2/2005

LOOKING at the queue of desperate attention-seekers snaking around the block, I concluded that social philosopher Jean Paul Sartre hit the nail firmly on the head when he described hell as being . . . other people.

Grinning, shamelessly obsessed with self-promotion and finding the celebrity lifestyle, they spent hours in icy winds, risking hypothermia - just for the chance to enter the dubious world of the human goldfish bowl: Big Brother.

Around 3,000 people lined the streets of Manchester for this weekend's audition, treble the number at other auditions around the country. The popularity, producers say, is down to Manchester's location.

Producers advise those auditioning to stand out from the crowd. Many took this on board by wearing wedding dresses, fireman's outfits, or next to nothing - but it seemed an inverted case of fur coat and no knickers, since most of those clamouring for fame seemed to have no better reason than because it was "good".

Warrington dance and drama student Rachel Webb, 21, entertained the crowds with her loud hailer, dressed in denim hotpants, cowboy boots and hat, a bikini top covered in day-glo pink flowers and a long suede coat with fake fur trim.

With her streaky fake tan and garish make-up, she certainly attracted attention. What was her reason for wanting to enter the show? "Fun," she said. Andrew Warburton, a 20-year-old admin assistant from Atherton, was wearing just a sombreo, trainers and a pair of boxer shorts, and looked dangerously close to getting hypothermia.

He finished up being given a foil blanket by the St John Ambulance, to stave off the cold. "I put the `enter' into entertainment, and would be good on BB because I can make people laugh.

"If I won, I'd buy a car, take my mates on a slap-up holiday, give some money to my parents and some to a tsunami charity," he proclaimed.

Oompa Loompa

Trainee accountant Mark Williams, 27, from Hull, dressed as an Oompa Loompa for his audition and cited boredom at work as his reason for queuing up. "I don't like my job, so if I won BB I'd try to become a football commentator."

Macclesfield's Stuart Wilson, who appeared in last year's show and was the first person to have sex on British BB, has cashed in by setting up a premium rate hotline advising wannabes on the best way to catch the producers' eyes at the audition. This year's line-up are already trying their hand.

Tattooed Grimsby punk rocker Andrew Mackie, 38, was eager to be interviewed while queuing for the auditions, but refused to spill the beans on the secretive interview process unless paid.

"They've asked us not to discuss what happens when the producers talk to you, so I can't reveal anything," he said - despite not even making it past the first hurdle.

"I've got my principles." But they were on sale for 20 quid.

But it's the quieter, casually dressed ones who have something about them. Altrincham-born Derek Hughes, who lives in Edinburgh, travelled down to Manchester after failing to get his turn in front of the cameras in Edinburgh. "I know what the process is like, and I'm ready for it," says the 39-year-old cleaning company boss.

"I've got a great strategy. If you go into BB you have to go under the radar. So I'd go into the house as a Trojan horse - be nice to everyone, establish friendships and then go off like Hiroshima.

"You also have to make the audience relate to you. If you lay yourself bare and show flaws that others may have, they'll be able to relate to you, and you're on to a winner."

When it comes to BB, maybe the quiet waters run the deepest.

This is the second year that BB has held open auditions, and the process has been as much a freak show as the programme itself.

But few contestants from past series have made any real success from being on the show.

The biggest winner has to be programme maker Endemol, which has made millions, while only a handful of former contestants can claim to have made it big.

Jade Goody - the dim, tubby dental nurse who thought "East Angular" was abroad and that Portugal was a place in Spain, is a staple feature in gossip magazines, and has just bought herself a boob job and a Porsche.

Craig Phillips, who won the first series, handed his '70,000 winnings over to charity and became a TV DIY expert, while Brian Dowling, the gay air steward, became a TV presenter.

The rest milked their 15 minutes for all it was worth and then vanished back into obscurity.

Sharon Powers, executive producer, says BB's appeal is the experience of being on the show and the success it can bring afterwards.

"Many turn up seeking fame and a career beyond the BB house, but we're just looking for people who'll entertain the nation over the summer."

Last year BB turned really nasty, reduced the size of the house and had the housemates sleeping in one bedroom for the 10 weeks.

Fight Night

Contestants who were bound not to get on were chosen, too, culminating in the notorious "Fight Night", when all hell broke loose and security guards were rushed in to separate the warring housemates.

Although this year's format is under wraps, Sharon promises it will "feel fresh and be full of surprises" and that contestants will have to have "a little something extra" about them. She says it's easy to spot suitable candidates - but won't reveal the criteria.

Now entering its sixth year, the show's format of putting strangers together in a house, asking them to bond and then stab each other in the back, has been highly successful. It has raised Channel 4's viewing figures, given the press a much-needed focus during the silly season and, most importantly, given us Brits something to talk about instead of the weather.

The shenanigans in the BB house have captivated us from the start.

Whether it's the romantic dalliances, diary room soliloquies or the blatant attempts to make an impression - any impression - the show contains enough sub-plots, mystery and scheming to ensure it's a winner.

In fact the whole concept has been so successful that not only has it spawned a glut of other reality shows worldwide, but it also won the producers a BAFTA for innovation.

However, having gripped the nation for five summers, isn't the format starting to get a little worn? Dr David Holmes, senior psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, thinks not.

"Over the last 10 years the pace of television has speeded up quite considerably," he says.

"It's all about keeping people's attention by having short soundbites and snappy television. Even Newsnight is like this now.

"However, BB is the opposite. It's slow, mundane, and we can relate to it because it's like our own lives."

This, coupled with people's desire for celebrity status, is BB's success, he says.

"Being a celebrity is the most prized possession in the modern world, it's prized above money and a proper job," he adds.


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