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Cruise: Boudicca's Iberian tour

LISBON: Port of call

Five laps round the wind-buffeted deck of this dancing and prancing cruise ship Boudicca, and you’ve notched up a mile.

The ship’s resident health expert Rebecca, a slim 23-year-old New Zealander, pauses to give some hard facts to me and my new, soft-bodied companions.

“Do you realise,” she says, “every day we are at sea you add an extra two pounds on your weight?” No we didn’t, looking ruefully at our new trainers.

And then, with slow, added emphasis: “That means in eight days you’ll weigh an extra stone.” We look at each other guiltily.

Suddenly, cranking your limbs into the horizontal before the majority of the other passengers have stretched themselves for another languid day at sea takes on a whole new urgency.

We step out with added purpose: legs tingling, lungs heaving as we attempt to hold a straight line on the skittering deck. After the launch of the Freedom of the Seas, a wallowing, 168,000 tonne cruise monster, Fred Olsen’s Boudicca may seem very, very small.

She can accommodate 839 passengers. She slipped quietly into the water in February. But her inaugural eight-day sojourn to Iberia marks her out as the new Queen of Seas for the discerning Middle England market place.

Intimate

And despite the advent of a new breed of giant cruise ships, travel experts believe Boudicca, named after the feisty warrior queen, will sit very prettily with travellers seeking a more intimate sailing experience.

Many of my fellow passengers are more M&S and The Archers than bling and Britney Spears. But I was encouraged by the smattering of young couples travelling with very young children.
And Boudicca reflects her understated Englishness in style and décor.

In fact, after just a few hours, I felt I had joined a cosy, friendly club rather than a ship impatient for exploration.
 
Her bright, inquisitive streamlined hull and flowing lines identifies her as a quiet adventurer. We took in France, Spain, Portugal and the Channel Islands on our seamless journey, tasting some excellent wines along the way.

On board, you share beautifully furnished lounges and bars, excellent quality dining in four different restaurants, airy cabins – a delightful counterbalance to a theatre hosting dance and comedy shows.

And there is food: lots of it, prepared and by executive chef Dirk Helsig and his dedicated 57-strong galley team.

And again the focus is on the very best of British. Imposing Cumberland sausage, lamb casseroles and Yorkshire puds the size of clouds, followed by spotted dick and other sweet family favourites.

BOUDICCA: Queen of the seas

And you don’t have to be timid about asking for more. One of my table companions tried two portions of the different tantalising main courses each night of our entire voyage.
The smiling waiters didn’t even bat an eyelid.

Away from the fine dining, you can curl up in the library, waiting until your delicious mid-morning or afternoon tea is served with fresh-baked cakes and savouries.

Maybe dally over an infuriatingly difficult jigsaw puzzle – or simply laze in a comfortable chair on deck. Sample, a mind-blowing cocktail in the sweeping comfort of the Observation Bar and chill out with dedicated sophisticates at a napkin-folding lesson.

But I am reminded of Rebecca’s warning, so I am off again pounding the deck, desperate to cut down on my 20-minute time to complete a mile. Suddenly, I am diverted by a host of other on-board activities.

There is a queue for the pilates class, all intense focus and sinewy stretch. I amble into the bridge class for ‘absolute’ beginners.

‘Killer’ darts  

Geoff, a middle-aged amateur from Dundee, whispers: “It’s great. I’ve wanted to learn to play all my life. Suddenly I have started to master the game.” But I was restless… I try my hand at ‘killer’ darts – losing heavily to an accomplished 18-year old girl from Devon – and retire hurt for a game of shuffleboard played on the rolling deck.

Then again, let’s see what they are learning in the vegetable carving class. Too cerebral for me. I head off for a quick demonstration of line dancing. And all this before lunch!
In the afternoon, I watch 20 amateur water colourists improving their technique. Join the daily quiz and compete in a luckless game of quoits.

On our last night, the ship’s master, Captain Trond Lippestad, a jovial, wise-cracking Norwegian, issues us with our personal copy of the cruise log.

My eyes are drawn to the list of what we have consumed on our voyage: 8,640 eggs, 1,200 kgs pork, 1,280 kgs of beef, 1,780 litres of milk, 1,900 kgs of potatoes… need I say more?

Before landfall I step out in the early dawn light, reassured by a school of dolphins.

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