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UK: Watch out for the killer cattle

12th-century Rievaulx Abbey

Nettle Dale was aptly titled with a wood full of sharp stinging nettles that easily pierced supposedly impenetrable walking trousers.

The description of the conditions was not so apt: "Undemanding, but woodland paths can be muddy." The paths were swamp-like, dragging walking boots deep in sludge.

Then, after the pain of traversing nettles and mud, we found we were lost. So far, so typical. As someone who repeatedly gets lost on walks in England, I blame poor signage. What a contrast to Austria and Switzerland (give me those clinical, orderly, Germanic types any day) where you simply can't go wrong.

It's not just me, although I can't read Ordnance Survey maps and have a hopeless sense of direction. As we searched desperately for a sign, we realised we weren't alone. A group of ramblers, led by an equally perplexed-looking chap, were also poring over maps.

It took a couple more hours of wrong turns, rows and recriminations before we got back on track, along an unscenic, but at least mud and nettle-free road.

And it wasn't the first time on this short break in North Yorkshire. The day before, we got lost following one of J Brian Beadle's "Twelve Scenic Walks Around Ryedale, Pickering and Helmsley". This 9.5-mile thriller, called "Never On A Sunday" (attempted on a Saturday) involved walking through a forest that is a no-go area on a Sunday because it is used as a shooting-range from April to October.

We never found the shooting-range, although we did manage to rustle up a lot of grouse as we tried to beat our way through yet more inhospitable walking territory.

And then there was the herd of cows. Now I've gone off cows since I read about the killer variety that randomly attack unsuspecting walkers. It's a little known fact that between 1990 and 1998, 18 members of the public were attacked by cattle in fields. Almost half of these attacks were fatal. So you can't be too careful. Thus, when I eyed a moody-looking cow among the group, I ran for it - or under it, the "it" being a barbed wire fence.

Thank goodness for the refuge offered at the White Swan Inn at Pickering. Standing proud and imposing, you can imagine the White Swan looks exactly as it did in the 16th century.

Tradition

Once inside, true to tradition, this former coaching inn has cosy snugs, open fires and oak panelling.

But the current owners have more than nodded in the direction of modernity, offering bedrooms in a recently converted stable-block that could easily grace a contemporary boutique hotel.

Grey stone floors, muted soft furnishings and goose-feather pillows add to the appeal. I always rate a hotel by the standard of its bathroom smellies and Penhaligon toiletries are a sign of a classy establishment.

There's a club lounge for residents in the grounds of the hotel that has one of those honesty bars where the hoteliers put their faith in you to pay up after you've supped the beers, wines and spirits or perhaps a good strong cup of Yorkshire tea on offer inside there.

The restaurant looks traditional but like the rest of the hotel, has been given a gentle push into the 21st century, using honest-to-goodness ingredients, sourced from local suppliers, making them taste fancy, but not too fancy. Enough to make you feel you're being treated to an upmarket meal without confusing you.

The only thing that worried me was the dress code: "There is no dress code here," says the helpful A-Z guide to the hotel, "however, anyone seen wearing a shell suit may be pushed near an open fire."

Now, my walking trousers, which swish-swish as I walk along, have often been likened to shell suit trousers. Yet fortunately they didn't cause offence. Or at least staff and guests at the White Swan Inn were far too polite to tell me so.

FACTFILE

The White Swan Inn, Market Place, Pickering. Tel: 01751 472288. Doubles from £129 for bed and breakfast (for two people). Contemporary superior doubles from £159.  For more information, please select the links below.

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